True Love's Curse
by AwkwardedOut
Summary: True love was the most powerful magic in all the realms; it could break any curse - but the part everyone leaves out is that it is a curse unto itself.
1. Chapter 1

**True Love's Curse**

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time.

Summary: True love was the most powerful magic in all the realms; it could break any curse—but the part everyone leaves out is that it is a curse unto itself.

* * *

 **Zelena.**

Lying in bed, hidden from the world by the thick comforter that had been roughly yanked over her head, she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them to keep from falling apart. It didn't help.

She didn't stop trying, though. Even alone in a house on the outskirts of town, with no one else around for miles, she refused to give in. Giving in was weak. She'd given in to Hades, had allowed herself to trust him, to love him, and see where that got her.

A tear slipped out. Oh hell.

Apparently that one solitary escape served as encouragement for the rest, because suddenly if felt like a dam broke and more poured forth with the fury of a flood. She tried to stem the tears, but they refused to be stoppered, and merely soaked her hands as well as her cheeks. They were joined soon after by heaving sobs that tore from her throat and wracked her body with their intensity.

She finally gave up on pretending everything was okay, deciding to allow herself this one night of weakness. Just this one.

Her mind returned to Granny's Diner in that other realm and replayed every moment, all the feelings she'd felt then and the short period afterward were still fresh in her heart. She had been living in an ethereal state ever since that kiss. But then the illusion shattered. His betrayal had been a stab to the heart. But she'd betrayed him too. She'd stabbed him in the heart too. They really were like two sides of a coin. Two parts of one soul. For one beautiful moment, she thought she'd finally found the thing she'd been searching for her entire life.

It hadn't lasted long, though.

Had she been too hasty? She could have tried to talk to him, to reason with him. He would have listened to her, surely. If he had truly loved her, if she'd tried harder, if they'd had time to talk or simply left Storybrooke—and yet, sometimes, as much as you loved someone, it would never be enough.

But was that really the problem? Hades was too much like her—stubborn, scheming, driven to get what he wanted. For decades, she had thirsted for revenge against her sister, concocted hundreds of tortures to make Regina's life hell. The old her would have never let anyone talk her out of her vengeance, and Hades had had a millennia of rage boiling beneath his skin.

But… she _had_ changed. It had taken her child to do it, but it had happened. Who was to say that she and her daughter couldn't have done the same for Hades? It would have taken time, like it had with her, to realize that happiness wasn't taking the world and forcing it to bow at one's feet; it was to love and be loved, to see redemption in the eyes of the one who mattered to you most.

Her true love. Burnt to ash. Had _any_ of it been real?

Her thoughts were swirling around her head with no clear direction. She continuously contradicted herself with her evaluations and hypotheticals, and the worst part was—she knew that none of it even mattered anymore. No matter how many _what if_ s she agonized over, a dead man couldn't change. Hades was gone, turned to a pile of dust at her hands. And she'd left him there, walked away without a second glance. It had been cold even by her standards.

Anger and desolation warred for dominance in her heart.

She'd murdered the one person who truly understood her. Her other half. Irreversible.

The image came unbidden to her mind. The agony in his voice. The crackle of godly magic electrifying his every molecule, burning through him until there was nothing left. But he hadn't had a soul. Robin had had a soul. Regina had seen it. No soul. _No soul_. Was someone without a soul even capable of love?

Did _she_ have a soul? Probably not. Was _she_ capable of love?She knew she _desired_ it— _desperately_. But that wasn't the same thing. True love's kiss. What a farce it had all been, she thought bitterly.

Anger won out. Her entire body stiffened; all she wanted to do was grab whatever was within reach and throw them against the walls, the floor, anything.

How could she love when she had never experienced it herself? How could she be loving when no one had ever shown her how to be? Cora had abandoned her. Her adoptive mother had died when she'd been but a chick. Her adoptive father had despised her. Hades had betrayed her. It wasn't _fair_.

Unloved and unwanted. Was this really her fate?

A sharp cry broke through the sound of her own quiet sobs. She reluctantly took down the cloth barrier that had kept the world at bay up until now. Cool air met her tear-stained face, a contrast to the warm tears. Quietly, she padded her way into the next room and over to the far side. A pale beam of moonlight illuminated her daughter's face, scrunched up as she wailed. She carefully wrapped her arms around the small bundle and lifted her from the crib, blanket and all. The cries ceased immediately, and blue eyes opened to stare up at her.

Maybe it wasn't all lost. Maybe _someone_ could still love her.


	2. Chapter 2

**True Love's Curse**

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time.

Summary: True love was the most powerful magic in all the realms; it could break any curse—but the part everyone leaves out is that it is a curse unto itself.

* * *

 **Regina.**

Love was about sacrifice. That was what Regina had told Zelena that night, only moments after Robin's death. Those were the words that had shown Zelena Hades' true image, had prompted her to kill him, to render him into nothing as he had done to Robin.

Love.

 _True_ love.

What a joke.

Despite all the fanfare about true love, the only time Regina had ever seen actual real-life happy endings was with the Charmings. Snow White and David had gotten their happy ending, time and time again, and then went on to give public speeches about hope and wonder, snowflakes and unicorns. And now even Emma had gotten her one-handed pirate back.

But Robin was dead. Daniel was dead. Everyone she thought she would live out her life with was dead.

Was the world truly as black and white as Henry had proclaimed all those years ago? Was it true that only heroes got happy endings, and villains didn't? Was it true that once a villain, always a villain—no matter how hard you tried to change, or how much good you did? She had killed and tortured and committed countless other horrible, unspeakable acts. The darkness had colored her heart, dying it black; nothing could ever change that, and she knew it. Maybe all that mattered was the color of your soul. Maybe it just didn't matter how hard you fought to atone. For all the suffering she'd caused during her reign of terror, the universe clearly meant to give it back a thousand-fold. Besides, didn't people always say that karma was a bitch?

After all this time envying her and chasing after her life, Zelena had finally caught up. Regina had lost her true love, and now, so had Zelena. Despite knowing that Hades was the direct cause of Robin's death, she also knew that her sister had loved him, and now he was dead. This was one thing they shared in common.

A high-pitched laugh escaped her suddenly, verging on hysteria.

Then again, it could have had nothing to do with darkness and souls and karma. It could be genetics—it certainly seemed to run in the family. Part of her idly wondered if perhaps someone had held a grudge against her family for whatever reason—probably someone her mother had pissed off—and decided to get revenge.

Maybe they'd cursed her family to always lose those they loved.

Or maybe love was the real curse.

Love left you bereft, broken and lost. It hollowed you out, emptied you of all your emotions, leaving nothing but a void where once there beat a heart. She would have given anything to fill that void the first time, after Daniel's death. She had chosen hatred and vengeance, had done everything within her power to drown out the pain of that loss and to make her feel whole again. Love made you do horrible, unspeakable things. It made you murder without conscience, raze entire villages to nothing more than ash, all the while justifying your cause.

Love.

It offered redemption you had never dreamt possible. It gave you such a wonderful, euphoric feeling. Yes—she had been so utterly, blissfully _happy_ with Robin. But everything they had gone through afterward, from Marian's return to finding out Zelena was pregnant with his child—all of it had felt like someone was trying to rip her to shreds from the inside out.

Regina smiled bitterly.

She was such a fool. All those joyous moments that love had given her were nothing more than cleverly crafted cons. They had lured her in with the promise of a future, wove around her a techni-colored world full of possibilities, allowed her just a taste of happiness, and then ripped it all away. That was how the con worked; she knew that now.

The first time she had met Robin had been back in the Enchanted Forest. After all those years keeping the two of them separated, why would fate have brought them together then? If she really thought about it, the entire thing made perfect sense. She had just been forced to give up Henry, and no longer had anything left to live for. Of _course_ fate had allowed her to meet Robin then. She had been ready to curse herself into an eternal sleep, and then the universe would've been down one of its favorite toys. Fate _had_ to give her something that could provide her with hope and rekindle her will to live. It was practically _Torture 101_ —you couldn't torture someone who had nothing left to take away.

Clearly she'd gone about her revenge against Snow White all wrong. She'd only wanted Snow White's death as recompense for bringing about Daniel's death. But that was no justice. She should have made Snow White suffer just as she had suffered. She should have killed everyone the spoiled princess cared about, starting with her precious prince. She should have ripped David's heart out and crushed it right in front of Snow White's eyes. She should have—

A sharp pain registered in her mind.

Regina opened her eyes and looked down. The remnants of her shattered glass were on the table. She opened her fist and saw that jagged shards had hooked into her skin; beads of blood ran down her palm to join the remnants of her drink on the tabletop.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that frightened gazes had turned to her table in the diner. Several clangs of the bell signaled a number of hasty departures a few seconds later, but she ignored them.

"Regina, you're hurt!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

She glanced up and saw the very person whose suffering she had been envisioning so vividly.

"I'll go get the first aid kit," Snow told her.

"That's not necessary." With a wave of her hand, the broken glass disappeared, as did the shards in her palm. There wasn't even a scar to indicate where they had been.

"Are you okay?" Snow asked, sitting down opposite her.

Of course she bloody well wasn't okay, and she was just about to say as much, but upon seeing the genuine concern on the other woman's features, she felt her anger deflate like a balloon being popped. The image of David's lifeless body crumpled on the ground and Snow's wails so full of anguish flashed through her mind. And suddenly guilt gnawed at her insides—and anger at herself.

Maybe she had been right before; this was why she wasn't allowed a happy ending. No matter how hard she worked to bury the Evil Queen, that darkness was still a part of her, lying dormant in her heart, waiting… She couldn't receive a hero's happy ending because she was still a villain.


End file.
